


Getting Sober

by lillianresolve



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 03:22:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillianresolve/pseuds/lillianresolve
Summary: In the Aftermath of Season 2, Spencer realizes he needs help to get clean, so he turns to Hotch.





	Getting Sober

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place between season 2 and season 3. Aaron is already living at the apartment.

As Spencer woke he turned to tell the presence pressed against his side to get out. The fuzzy warmth of the morning fizzled abruptly as he realized that he was not on a bed, but on a couch, and furthermore that he was not on his own couch. He closed his eyes and took a moment to pray that he was still in DC and opened them again to attempt to deduce his surroundings. A couch with a warm blanket. A mantle with photos of a man and a small child. Fuck. This wasn’t just any couch. This is was _Aaron Hotchner’s_ couch. What kind of fucked up idiot junkie was he to end up on his boss’s couch after going on bender the night before?

 

 The always burning heat in Spencer’s veins began to simmer, bringing with it a sheen of cold sweat across his forehead and a _need_ that he knew could only be sated with one thing. He reached for his jacket draped on the arm of the couch and searched the pockets to find the leather pouch that held the sweet medicine to dull the fire on his veins and steady his hands. 

 

“I got rid of it” came a steady baritone from the kitchen causing Spencer to drop the jacket and his stomach to churn with fear and anxiety.

 

“What are you talking about Hotch?” Spencer tried for casual denial and fell about ten steps short.

 

“The drugs, Spencer, I am talking about the drugs” Hotch said, his voice calm and level as he approached the shivering man, “You showed up here, at my house, where my son sometimes lives, at 2AM last night, high.”

 

“I..I”

 

“No. I don’t want to listen to you lie or make excuses for your behavior. I don’t want to hear about how this is the last time, or how you don’t let it affect your work, or how its none of my business- “

 

“It’s not” Spencer broke in defiantly. The hair raising on the back of his neck and his hands clenched into fists to mask the shaking.

 

“Spencer you made it my business when you came here last night begging for salvation.” Hotch was towering over him now, his carefully constructed mask slipping to reveal an anguish that Spencer couldn’t believe he had caused. 

 

Hotch’s mask fell back into place and his voice became calm and neutral once more.

“I tried to ignore this. I know that acknowledging your…problem in any real way could be the end of you, of your career, but it can’t go on Spencer. You need help.”  Hotch abruptly turned back towards the kitchen. 

 

“There’s coffee in the pot. If you try and leave apartment, you’re fired” He called over his shoulder.

 

Spencer blew out the breath he had been holding and curled over himself down into the couch. This couldn’t be happening. What the fuck had he been thinking last night?

 

___________________________________

 

That was how Hotch found him an hour later.

 

The heat in his veins was screaming at him and he could feel his t-shirt sticking to his back with sweat. He knew if he moved he would either fall apart and end up a shivering hopeless blob on Hotch’s floor, or he would do something completely stupid and put his job and his whole livelihood at risk.

 

“Reid, are you okay?”

 

The younger man could only moan into the couch and shiver at Hotch in reply.

 

“Are you going through withdrawal?”

 

Spencer tried to give an affirmative, but he didn’t know if Hotch understood him.

 

“Is it supposed to come on this quick? Or is something wrong?”

 

Spencer took a deep breath and unburied himself from the couch so that he could see Hotch and speak to him clearly. He looked different in casual clothes. His sweater was the same color as birch wood in the summer.

 

“I’m in what is referred to as the early withdrawal stage, typically 12 hours after the last dose. Symptoms of early withdrawal include muscle pain, sweating, discharge from the nose and eyes, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping.  Hotch, if you just gave me a little I could function normally and leave here, and we wouldn’t ever have to talk about it again. Please, Hotch, please.”

 

“Reid, I am not letting you hurt yourself any more. You’ll get through this. I promise.”

_________________________________

 

Hotch spend the next day watching Reid shiver into his couch. Occasionally the young man would attempt to move to the bathroom and Hotch tried to coax him into eating some crackers or Mac n Cheese, but Spencer would only nibble at the food before turning back into the coach.

 

He started to worry when the vomiting started. He knew it was a normal part of the withdrawal, but Spencer was still refusing to eat anything, and he knew the young man could only be vomiting bile at this point.

 

The lies were worse than the vomiting. If Spencer was conscious, then he was trying to manipulate Hotch into letting him leave.

 

“Hotch, I’m so sick. I need my medicine. Hotch, it’s medicine. I need it, please”

 

“Just let me leave. I promise I won’t go get more. I’ll stay sober Hotch. Don’t you trust me”

 

“Hotch, I’ll do anything. Give you anything. Please Hotch”

________________________________

 

Spencer wasn’t really aware of himself again until the fourth day spent on Hotch’s couch. Hotch was sitting in his armchair sleeping. There was a bell hung on the door leading into the hallway, presumably to wake Hotch if Spencer tried to leave.

 

Spencer sat up slowly marveling at the way his muscles moved and stretched with minimal pain. He had stopped sweating as well, and while his stomach was cramping, it wasn’t the horrible churn of another bout of nausea, but the gentle grumbling of hunger.

 

“Hotch” Spencer said testing his voice and trying to wake the older man, “Hotch, I think it’s over”

 

Hotch blinked awake and took a long moment to look at Spencer, examining him with the familiar eyes of an agent trying to deduce a lie.

 

“Let’s get you something to eat, then you have to change, and we are going out.” With that Hotch got up and, for the first time, Spencer followed him into the kitchen. 

 

“You need something simple. You’ve barely eaten, and you’ve been vomiting every chance you get. What about some toast to start?” Hotch asked, not really waiting for an answer as he placed two slices of bread in the toaster oven.

 

“Toast is good. Where are we going? And can I shower first?” Spencer asked biting his lip. What he really wanted was to go home. He couldn’t believe he had spent the long weekend detoxing on Hotch’s couch. What had he been thinking?

 

“Yes, Reid, you can shower first. Then we are going to your apartment so I can clear it of any drugs you have stashed away. Then we are going to a meeting.”

 

“A meeting?” Reid asked, wondering if this really was the end of him. If Hotch had reported his drug use then he would be out of a job for sure.

 

“A Narcotics Anonymous meeting” Hotch explained with no room for argument.

 

“A…..okay…..Hotch?” Reid faltered looking down at his plate, ashamed that he had fallen so far, “Hotch, are you going to report this?”

 

Hotch lifted Spencer’s chin with a finger to they were eye to eye. He leaned down so that he was inches away from the young man.

 

“No, Spencer, I am not going to report this, but we need to get you clean and sober and make a plan to keep you that way” his baritone voice was like honey dripping over Spencer’s nerves and he felt his whole body relax in response to it.

 

“I…oh.” Spencer swallowed at the intimacy of the moment and pulled back from Hotch’s touch.

 

“I’mgoingtoshowernow.” Spencer said, almost running to the bathroom.

______________________

 

Aaron had never been in Reid’s apartment before. The man is question was loitering awkwardly near the door his gaze turned towards the ground.

 

It was dark, Aaron had tried to turn on the light in the living room and had found that the switch wasn’t working.

 

“The electricity got turned off, I…uhm… forgot to pay the bill” Aaron could hear the lie and knew the truth. Reid had spent his paycheck on drugs.

 

Aaron didn’t reply and decided to search the place the way he would search a crime scene. In a way that is exactly what Reid’s apartment was.

 

When the search was finished Aaron had found 2 different stashes of dilaudid, one disturbing stash of heroin, and 3 bottles of Adderall.

 

“Is this everything?” Aaron asked.

 

Reid looked up from where he had been sitting with his hands wrapped around his knees, “Uhm, did you get the stuff under the floor board in the bedroom?”

 

Aaron shook his head and went back to bedroom. He walked carefully, listening for the loose floorboard. When he heard the telltale squeak, he kneeled and pulled up the board to reveal a surprising array of prescription pain killers. How had Aaron let Spencer walk this far down the path of addiction without stepping in. He should have stopped the man the first night in the hospital when he realized that Hankel had given Spencer dilaudid during his captivity.

 

Aaron returned and addressed Spencer again, “I’m going to dispose of this, you need to stay here. -“

 

“There is a needle exchange 4 blocks over, they will take most of it” Reid mumbled into his knees. He was clearly embarrassed and distressed about being found out, but Aaron couldn’t think of another way to handle it. So, he simply nodded his head and left the apartment.

 

When he returned Reid was still sitting in the same spot as before except now he had a book tucked onto his knees and was reading at a lightning pace.

 

“You need to pack a bag. I want you stay with me at my apartment this week, at least. Then we can reassess.”

 

Spencer looked up sharply, “What? No. I’m fine now. I’ll go to the NA meetings, if that will make you happy but I’m done with that stuff, I promise. You don’t need to babysit me. I’m not gonna run off and get high the second you leave.”

 

Aaron leveled Spencer with a glare “Pack a bag.” He ordered.

 

Spencer huffed and got to his feet, stomping away like an unruly teenager.

_____________________

 

The meeting was uneventful. Spencer and Hotch sat in the back of the room drinking luke-warm coffee and listening to the speakers.

 

When the meeting was over Spencer leaned over and whispered “Thank you for this” in Hotch’s ear.

 

For the first time in a week, Hotch felt like he had done something right for Spencer.

_____________________

 

The second week Spencer spent on Hotch’s couch was a lot more normal than the last. Spencer and Hotch went to work, came home. Hotch drove Spencer to meetings and sat in the parking lot until it was over to make sure Spencer wasn’t sneaking out to get high.

 

They didn’t pick up a case, something both Hotch and Spencer were thankful for.

 

When the week was over, Hotch and Spencer had an extremely frank conversation.

 

“I’m going to let you go home, but you have to keep going to meetings”

 

“I will, Hotch. You were right, they do help. I’ll work the steps. I can beat this.”

 

“If I even suspect that you are using again, I’m putting you in rehab and the pieces will fall where they may in regard to your position at the FBI.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“If you need to talk to someone or if you’re craving and you need help, call me. We’ll figure it out together. You are not in this alone, Spencer.”

 

Spencer blinked back tears that were threatening to fall and rushed in to hug Hotch.

 

“Thank you” he whispered. Then he picked up his bag and left.


End file.
